This webpage was not authored by or initiated by the family of Anne Winter, nor the person generous enough to administer this fund. It was the collective effort of a group of people who are deeply concerned about what follows loss. The proposed idea was endorsed by her survivors prior to the authoring of this page. Thank you to those who have donated to-date.
This is not a tribute.
Anne Winter passed away unexpectedly on October 22nd. Tributes to the importance of Anne's contribution to the regional music scenes, as well as her formative contributions to the musical tastes, repertoires, and vocabularies of music fans throughout the midwest are all over the Internet; you can find many on Facebook and other sites. More importantly, Annie was a friend and mentor to dozens, if not hundreds of music fans -- not just in the domain of music, but in life, meaning, joy, and passion. This page is not intended to be one of those tributes, as they are plentiful. This page has a different purpose.
Annie had two young children.
Annie was not only a figurative surrogate mother to a large segment of local musicians and music fans, she was the only mother to two young children, aged nine and twelve.
When family members pass suddenly, the primary, initial reactions by family and friends are often predominantly those of grief and shock. And under some circumstances, a confusing ambivalence. To talk about money or pragmatics can be seen as inappropriate, indelicate, or boorish. That is why we have taken the initiative to do so on their behalf, and from our own experience. Talk about money and pragmatics needs to happen immediately.
The unfortunate reality is this: family members are left behind, and unplanned deaths are just that -- unplanned. For those of you who have prematurely lost loved ones or been responsible for lost loved ones, this page will be evocative. For those of you who have not, we hope you will consider the emotional and financial cost that has suddenly been placed upon Anne's family and friends. The cruel road ahead is a difficult one to describe to people who have not experienced this type of loss.
The emotional impact is unimaginable. The impact on young children is profound and pervasive. The awkwardness of the good intentions of adults left behind to explain to and support the children is frustrating and crippling for both. Please be considerate of her children's delicate age and recent experience if you find yourself wanting to share your grief or sympathy with them.
It is expensive to die.
The most insidious and unspoken fact of unexpected deaths is this: it is expensive to die. The plainest of immediate practical matters cost thousands of dollars. It is even more expensive for those who are dependents; children whose health insurance was predicated on the employment of the parent are suddenly without insurance, or are left to pay exorbitant COBRA costs for health insurance when they may most need counseling and psychological services to help them navigate their loss. Efforts have to be made and money spent to make sure that the kids don't have to change schools. Every effort has to be made so that no additional changes in their lives happen that can be prevented.
Their next of kin are saddled with bills from the immediate matters, which are compounded by the slow trickle of costs that can sporadically appear for years: attempts to collect on broken leases, broken cell phone contracts, ancient debts, and so on. There are legal fees relating to both property and the futures of children. This will go on for years. The future is compounded by the ongoing demands where those left are forced to fax or mail proof of Anne's passing to dubious creditors, utilities, etc. And these reminders will continue for years, each one a reminder of the loss, a slap in the face, and a trigger for the magnitude of their initial grief to return.
Grief and recovery will not end for those closest to Anne.
Anne's journey has ended. But the journey for her young children, and for those generously taking responsibility for them and forced to take responsibility for the catastrophe left in the wake of our collective loss has just begun. Their grief will not end. It will only subside until it doesn’t interfere with everyday living. Please find it in your heart to contribute what you can to ameliorate some of this long, protracted burden -- financial and otherwise.
By clicking on the icons at the top of this page or below, you can donate whatever you choose to an account that is being administered by one of Anne's closest friends with the grateful support of her survivors. We would appreciate it if, following any donation, you posted the following simple message to your webpages, Twitter, Facebook, or MySpace statuses, or simply emailed this message to your friends or acquaintances. Please post it anywhere you can:
Post: " I have donated what I am able in consideration of Anne Winter's children -- please visit www.anniewinter.org "
We hope that the simplicity of this message, the focus on Anne's children, and the uniformity of the message will make the strength of the community aspect of this effort and the intent very salient.
When you donate, please send an additional email to donation@anniewinter.org to give us your full name, and let us know if you would accept public recognition for having donated. If you are unable to donate, we appreciate your thoughts and intentions.
If anyone has questions about accountability for the money donated, please direct questions to the email above and we will email you names of people who are copied on all notifications from PayPal that include the amount donated, the email of the donor, and the time and date of donation. We will call you if you give us your number. All of those notifications are also archived in a mailbox solely for those notifications that can be accessed by the family at their request.